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UK paruresis trust

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Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16

Posted by Jamie on 6/12/2016, 1:42 pm

I just thought I'd share some positive results I've had since my follow up workshop last month.
I've been doing regular fluid loaded desense sessions at the local shopping mall and keeping a diary of the results. These are going well with the only downside being that the toilets are often empty when I'm in there!

A few weeks back I was at the England v Fiji rugby game at a sold out Twickenham (something that has always made me worried in the past) but this time I managed 3 successful trips to the urinals inside the stadium and one visit to a temporary plastic 4 place urinal that were placed off the side of the street on the way to the stadium. I wouldn't have even attempted either of these before going on the workshop.

Last weekend I was in a walkabout pub with friends watching the England v Australia rugby and I even managed to successfully use the urinals there which for anyone who knows the walkabout pubs they are simply troughs with no dividers and only corners for privacy.

So overall I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself and I can only put it down to getting off my @rse and getting myself onto the follow up workshop! For anyone reading this considering whether a workshop is right for you or not, please take my advice and just do it. It might just be the best thing you've ever done!

Anyway, have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year all and I hope to see you workshop buddies one Saturday in January if possible?

jamie

Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16

Posted by Nick on 7/12/2016, 5:12 pm, in reply to "Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16"

Hi Jamie
good to hear from you that you are overcoming the problem, with the aid of the workshop. I'm Italian and I'm not probably going to any workshop, but writing down my history in this discussion board (yu can read it, if you like)and some advice from Andrew worked anyway quite well.
But my compliment to you in particular because you managed to use the trough urinals. That's a very difficult point for me. As you say, there is no privacy. Moreover, how can you fake in that situation, in case you fail to urinate? your flow is visible to the other users!! That is very embarassing for me. How did you manage to overcame this embarassement? grateful if you answer me! Nick

Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16

Posted by Andrew on 7/12/2016, 5:19 pm, in reply to "Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16"

HI Nick

The trick with troughs is to stand where the drain is, so that your urine does not flow past other people.

Andrew

Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16

Posted by Nick on 8/12/2016, 1:35 pm, in reply to "Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16"

But the drain is usually at the centre of the trough, isn't it? I would feel less confortable in that position. I would prefer the corner. But in that position it is more embarrassing to fake. I got to know that there exist also circular trough. Terrible for me! Im not ready for trough urinals!

Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16

Posted by Jamie on 8/12/2016, 1:39 pm, in reply to "Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16"

Ciao Nick
I did manage to use the troughs but that was only because of what I've been going through since the workshop and I waited until my urgency was high.

I've learnt that I have a good chance of going at a urinal when my urgency levels are up, I certainly wouldn't have even bothered with the trough if that wasn't the case. Also, like Andrew said, I go towards the drain if possible too, that way nobody can see whether you're going or not and you're also usually at the end too.

jamie

Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16

Posted by Nick on 8/12/2016, 8:21 pm, in reply to "Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16"

Ciao Jamie. I understand. Thanks for the advice.

Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16

Posted by Phil on 12/12/2016, 10:10 pm, in reply to "Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16"

Hi Jamie

Great to hear you've made such progress since the workshop including success with the dreaded trough! You've inspired me to it to provide an update.

I've also been following the lessons learned on the workshop as much as possible. I've built de-sensing into my daily routine as I travel to and from work by train. As I mentioned in a previous post the toliets at my local train station have just been re-furbished and are much more AP friendly with dividers put in. I now aim to use them every morning on the way to work and, at the end of the day, I fluid load and then use 3 toilets as part of the journey home, which are on different scales of the hierarchy. At work, we only have cubicles so I don't get the chance to practice there. What used to be a relief is now a frustration - just goes to show the change of mindset the workshops can bring about!

My other main change has been to use nights out as an opportunity to practice more. Rather than avoid drinking before going out I now have a litre of water so I'll be ready to go early on. So far,this is working as well.

As for the results, according to my diary, I've made 92 visits since the workshop with 82 successes, 3 misfires and faked it 7 times. I had gone 3 weeks without a misfire but had one today (followed by 4 successful visits even though the toilets were quiet or empty). It shows I need to keep working at it but, overall I'm really happy with the results.

I now see the vlaue of both workshops. The beginners helps you to recognise and understand AP and the follow up (for me at least) gave me the tools to really try and crack it. So far so good.

Agree Jamie, a meet up in January for the workshop buddies would be good.

Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16

Posted by Karl on 20/12/2016, 2:38 pm, in reply to "Re: Progress made since Manchester follow up Nov '16"

Very well done Phil! Misfires can be really aggitating! You seem to have a really good routine and i know from personal experience that your hard work will pay off with "determination and persistence".
It must be rather difficult for working men to build a routine to desense and fluid load so i would suggest anyone who has weekends off to make a weekend diary and follow it.

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