This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
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U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.
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I have suffered with inability to pee in public urinals and in other social situations for 50yrs. I have tried various things that seem to be covered by others on here. It has impacted on my life but I have never had the courage to tell anyone apart from a nurse when I had an operation as a day patient. She was sympathetic which was a relief. I was supposed to pee before leaving but couldn't so said that I had and she believed me. I have been close to telling my wife but just can't. Yes I know that's silly. I am usually fine when visiting close relatives but always panic about any other situation. I just know I won't go so don't bother. Recently I have tried wearing incontinence pants and going out for a walk. Surprise surprise I can start and stop easily and have even been chatting to someone and been able to start. I don't let it stream as I don't want to be walking around like that. It just proves to me that I can go and control when I go, so what on earth stops me in other situations. I have no hang ups about being seen by others in a public urinal. I go swimming and walk around into the showers naked. I could go on but I'm sure it's the same story that's been written before. I can't get to any workshops due to there proximity and getting away on my own. A pee buddie would be great but finding one is difficult. I'm on the Hampshire/Dorset border if there are any self help groups.
Re: determined to win
Posted by Karl on 16/2/2016, 1:26 pm, in reply to "determined to win"
Good to read your story James. It's good that you can tell everyone on here and relieve some burden. If there is someone in your life who you have been friends with for a very long time then they should be sympathetic. Maybe you could show them this website or print pages off to show them so they know you are one of the four million paruresis suffers in the U.K. They are less likely to think negatively towards you and your problem then. I am in my 40's and have had paruresis since about 25 years old. I too have had leakage problems and told a mate who then told me he has the same. I told somebody else then and he said the same too as did a younger guy in his 30's who was next to us. I have tried "exposure therapy" (as it is medically called") too by going to swimming pools and walking around naked hoping it would de-sense me at urinals but it didn't work. I have been seen by loads of men and just think to myself "So what... we all have the same and we have all seen another man's at some point in our life because it has been unavoidable".