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I felt like sharing my ongoing experience about traveling, with you guys. First of all, some background: 15 years of AP, to the point of not being able to pee alone in my own home. Yes it can become that bad if you don't do something about it. About one year ago my life fell apart and I went through a bout of depression which on the plus side motivated me to do a workshop with the UKPT. (Nothing to lose mindset
After doing the beginners workshop I was hooked on getting over this plague. And progress is here. Tonight I was at a bar in downtown Bangkok and waited out a guy an the urinal for 3 minutes, and when he was done, I went up to it and peed ! Best feeling in the world No miracles, just perseverance and determination.
Sorry I was getting ahead of myself. So anyway, after the first workshop, one thing led to an other and I have now been traveling for 3 months through South East Asia ! My goals: see a nice (and cheap) part of the world and do a full-on assault on my AP for 6 months.
Does this seem impossible to you ? Would you like for me to write some more about my experiences ? What do you think would be the hardest hurdle for you ? Post a reply and I will tell you how and why this is the best thing I have done in my life so far.
Okay, here we go: First of all, I decided to travel alone. The best would probably have been to travel with an AP de-sensing buddy but being alone is fine because it is very easy to meet people when traveling and enjoy some company without being "stuck" with them when you would rather be alone to work on de-sensing.
On a side note: my first week of traveling I met this Canadian chap and we shared a few beers and guess what ? He also was suffering from AP. He wasn't ready to tackle it though...
Secondly I chose South East Asia because it is very cheap to stay there for a long time. I chose a flight which stopped for 3h in Dubai along the way. So instead of a 12h ordeal I had two 6h flights with a stop in a huge airport (many toilets). For the flight itself, I chose window seats so that I WOULD have to ask the people next to me to let me through to go to toilet. And this I did every 2h whether I needed to go or not ! It is my right to disturb people to relieve myself. I was actually able to pee on one occasion, I had to sit down and it took a while but so what ?
Side note: a few days ago I flew from Hanoi back to Bangkok and had a seat very close to one of the toilets and was able to do some observations. This one guy goes in and stayed in there for a full 15 minutes. There was a queue forming outside but no one said anything, I was a non-event. The guy came out smiling when he was done as if he had been in there for 30". He didn't care and no one else cared. Only I, as a recovering AP sufferer, took notice.
I guess you would want to know how the average toilet is in South East Asia right ? Most restaurants and smaller bars have a single stall. The same one is used by men and women. I have very rarely encountered queues but if this was the case and I wasn't able to go I would just go back 10 minutes later. Nobody notices, nobody cares.
This makes actual traveling easy and enjoyable for AP sufferers. But once you have arrived in a town where you feel like staying a little longer, go check out the bars and restaurants. What I do is I take a book and stop at places in the morning or the afternoon and have a cup of tea or coffee and check out the bathrooms (faking it or actual usage). Once I have found a bathroom setup I can get to grips with I return in the evening when the place is busier.
Next topic: Moving around inside a country. This can be done by Train, Bus or Boat. Yes, I have done them all... 12h on a train, 10h on a bus, and 48h (!!!) on a boat. Sounds impossible with AP ? Think again ! Trains and boats I handle the same way as planes. Get up and go to the toilet every hour or so whether you have to go or not. Buses are a bit trickier, most don't have toilets onboard so they stop every 2-3h. So this is the only case where I don't drink too much and play it safe. But I still go out and fake it when we stop.
In 3 months NO ONE has ever questioned my behaviour ! Oh, the cherry on top ? Diarrhoea !!! Let me explain I have never actually had diarrhoea here but it is supposed to be fairly common with travellers. So this was my backup plan if ever someone would comment or look strangely at my behaviour. Never had to use it, nobody cares how often you go to the bathroom or if you wait in line to use the stalls at a busy bar.
Ok I think that's all for now. A final note: After visiting Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Singapore and Vietnam, I am currently sitting in a comfy chair in a Starbucks at Siam Center Shopping Mall in Bangkok drinking the largest iced tea they sell. This is my 3rd day doing basically the same thing: Get up in the morning, drink lots of water and orange juice for breakfast then walk 5' to the first shopping Center spend my day reading a book or waking around and of course, de-sensing ! The place is huge ! There are 4 Shopping Malls connected by walkways. Each Shopping mall has between 4 to 8 floors. Each floor has one or more toilets. That's at least 20 bathrooms within 15' walking (not counting my emergency backup of returning to my guest house which is just a few minutes away) All the toilets here are a mix of urinals and stalls. Urinals: some have dividers, some don't. Stalls: some have solid walls from floor to ceiling. Some have large gaps everywhere. The centres open a 9am and slowly fill up during the day, the busiest time being around 4pm.
In the evenings I go out and after supper, will have a few beers. I usually end up chatting to someone. When you meet a fellow traveler abroad it is quite easy to strike up a conversation. (Where are you from ? Where have you been ? Where are you going ?) At home it would feel weird but out here it's perfectly normal. So, if you also want to work on social anxiety it's also a good opportunity.
If anyone has any questions or comments, please leave a reply.
No miracles, just perseverance and determination.