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UK paruresis trust

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Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress

Posted by Mark on 2/4/2013, 8:07 am

I have had this shy bladder for years, since I was a kid and now 37, usually I can get by with using stalls but if the toilet is a busy one and people talking outside then I just can't go, Bank holiday was a nightmare again, I often don't even attempt to go out on them or any busy night like Christmas eve, boxing day, new years eve. Makes this thing rule my life so sometimes if I'm feeling like simply up for a challenge then I do go out, I did on Sunday and it was heaving in all pubs and tried 3 times, not a drop, ending up going home early in agony, so annoying it is when you have to tell your mates, off home I'm tired I made out.

Anyway I've decided to try something new, and that's to download a white noise app onto my phone and allow myself 5 mins in the toilet, even watch the clock as time goes slower when you watch it or seems to do. Hold my breath technique I'm going to try and hold my wrist as I read this can help then play the white noise of rain or maybe a waterfall. I may even shut my eyes and tell myself , this is 5 mins to myself.

Most annoying thing is though, in my town lots of the toilet door locks are bust, that annoys me, even in some decent looking pubs so you end up looking a bit weird if anyone comes in when you are there with headphones on trying to piss in a meditated state lol, anyway I'm gonna give it a shot and see if I can get it to work, even practice at home to see if it would work.

I'll report back on my progress.

Mark

Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress

Posted by Pete on 2/4/2013, 11:07 am, in reply to "Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress"

I am a similar age to you and beleave me I know what you are going through and I wish you the best of luck!

Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress

Posted by Mark on 2/4/2013, 7:55 pm, in reply to "Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress"

Cheers mate, yeah it is such a strange thing when I go on my own in my own home, literally seconds cause there is no pressure but as soon as someone is close or I can hear voices I freeze. If only I could get that same signal in my brain that I get when on my own and relaxed into the situations of people around but still remain calm. I really can't pin point a time but something must of happened when I was a kid, some experience to make me freeze up now, gone on so long though I guess I can't quite ever believe I could ever be cured.

It is good to know there are others though, I guess lots of us find our own ways to deal with it.

Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress

Posted by Mark L on 2/4/2013, 9:05 pm, in reply to "Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress"

Hi Mark,

Good luck with the new strategy! What would really help you is if you attended a begginers workshop in London or Manchester, you'll get so much info and you'll look at this condition in a whole new light. Details are near the top of the message board.

Cheers,

Mark L

Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress

Posted by Mark on 3/4/2013, 11:58 am, in reply to "Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress"

Cheers Mark L

Yeah I'll maybe give this a shot if this new technique doesn't work out.

Cheers
Mark

Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress

Posted by Andy L on 6/4/2013, 9:15 am, in reply to "Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress"

Hi Mark,

Sorry to hear of your problem. I'm the same in a pub/club situation, just lock up. In a cubicle is much better though.

Does your flow rate change when you are in public to when you are at home? My flow is slow at home, but even slower in public. I think I have a slight case of shy bladder mixed with a restricted urethra. I feel that if my flow was ok, the shy bladder problem would go away.
Feel free to e mail me if you like.

Andy

Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress

Posted by william on 6/4/2013, 11:19 am, in reply to "Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress"

andyL,I think you may need a period of desensitization for the
mental state of shy bladder after the urethral problem is corrected.

Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress

Posted by Mark on 8/4/2013, 7:56 am, in reply to "Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress"

Hi again

My flow I'll be honest does vary, if I've been drinking water during the day then when I go at home it flows fine but if I've had loads of alcohol and waited ages to pee (which is usually the case cause I never get rid of it, or even if I do manage to go once during the night out I still have a full-ish bladder. But yeah the flow when I do go is quite restricted and start and stops, quite annoying really.

Not been out with the app yet, hopefully next weekend but I have found an app that will be suited, even has monks chanting which did seem very soothing with a bit of ambient music in the background. I do have quite a bit of ambient music so maybe this will be good.

Mark

Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress

Posted by Graham on 20/5/2013, 10:28 pm, in reply to "Re: Gonna try out a new technique, I'll update on my progress"

My only concern with this is that you may end up being anxious because you can't hear the other people in the toilet if that makes sense. Whilst it's their noise and presence which causes the issue, the not knowing who's there and what they ate doing could create its own issues. I did try this today though at an airport toilet and eventually I went. Had a nightmare at a rugby match the other day though. Went once in a cubicle and couldn't go. There wasn't even many people about as it was during the first half, but I'd built it up in my mind. Went again (was really desperate at this time) and couldn't go but then came out of the cubicle and went into the end one and then eventually managed to go.

It will be interesting to hear how you get on though and good luck with it.

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