This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
The Board is maintained and moderated by the
U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.
For
further information, visit our website, or contact us at
i'm 32. i've had this as far back as i care to remember. when it was mild, i avoided the situation, this led to it becoming severe. i was so glad when i found out it had a name, that i was not the only one. was a great help in relieving the shame i'd felt for so many years. i realise now avoidance is two steps back. it's destroyed my life and had an effect on just about every decision i've ever made. time to man up and face this challenge life seems to have given me. i've come so far on my own, but i want to talk about it, i want to tell people about it, and i want help/support. i realise i've got it, and probably got it for good. i'll learn to deal with that. but i want to get rid of all the secondary symptoms it produces and get on with my life, and god damn not feel any shame for "it"!
Re: i've got this
Posted by Pete on 21/9/2012, 3:29 pm, in reply to "i've got this"
Andrew, Well done, Andrew, for finding this site and telling us about yourself. We have all had the same feeings and experiences, but you are quite right that it's good to talk about it, particularly with other "sufferers" (not a helpful word but the best I can think of !). So, as soon as posible, arrange to go to one of the UKPT Workshops where you will meet other guys - all very nice and "normal" - and be given incredibly good and sympathetic advice to help you. In the meantime get a copy of Stephen Soiffer's book "Shy Bladder Syndrome (see this website). It is a wonderful guide to self-help. A good attitude, as you so rightly think, plays a great part in helpng you to cope, and you certainly seem to have that. So good luck with your progress. Incidentally, I was well over twice your age before I was lucky enough find UKPT and benefit from all it has to offer. I hope it makes as much difference to your life as it has to mine. Pete.
Re: i've got this
Posted by Mark L on 21/9/2012, 9:49 pm, in reply to "Re: i've got this"
Hi Andrew,
Welcome to the UKPT message board. It is a relief when you finally find somewhere like this, and that in fact shy bladder has a name and is more common than you may have thought!
As Pete said, email the link at the top of page, or find the post (near the top) to find out about the next London or Manchester beginners workshop. It will make the world of difference if you attend one.
In the meantime, there are some useful tips on here for just about every situation, so just have a good read. Also - check out the main UKPT web page (link at top).
You may also wish to start de-sensing yourself. Spend as much time in public WC's as you can, either standing at a urinal with no intention of going or locking yourself in a cubicle for a few mins, or even going in to wash your hands.
Telling anyone close to you will also lift a big weight off your shoulders, the reaction you will get will most probably suprise you as people are generally sympathetic, dont think of it as a big deal or can even relate to it by admitting they have also had episodes of not being able to 'go'.
Let us know of any developments or thoughts, theres always people on here happy to help
