This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
The Board is maintained and moderated by the
U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.
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Just saw Embarassing Illnesses on DMAX channel.They showed a guy of 60 who had paruresis all his adult life. It was only 2 minutes but very good. The doctor handled it well and recommended CBT. Shame that they didn't mention UK Paruresis Trust or the course. I am an anxiety counsellor trained in CBT but on the rare occasion I have had paruretics contact me I have actually recommended the course to them. CBT is a very effective treatment but I think the course offers something that most CBT practitioners probably don't offer. That is support at the very instant that the client is feeling the anxiety.CBT with desensitisation is the most effective treatment and if the client is left to desensitise on their own inbetween therapy sessions there is a high chance that they will not do it. I have never been on the course but I know the concept is sound.How you may ask? Well, I have never treated anybody for Paruresis but I have helped people overcome other anxiety disorders and I know that being 'in the field' helping the client face their fear increases efficacy of treatment substantially. Crossing a bridge with a client with a bridge phobia is easy for a therapist to do but accompanying someone to a toilet is a bit trickier because the therapist cannot control the environment.Thats why I like the concept of the course because the environment is controlled so ideal for desensitisation. I have gone off topic a bit here but I guess what I am trying to say is that a great course like this could do with some national TV exposure.
Sorry for not getting back sooner: I was trying to compose a full reply! The guy you are referring to is Martin; the specialist he was passed on to was our Honorary Advisor Professor Alex Gardner. It was a pity they did not show him after he had seen Alex. It could have given others some encouragement. Martin did attend two or our workshops later: some time ago now.
Your comment about the benefit of the workshops is insightful. I have debated with myself about the pros and cons of the workshops and of a CBT therapist.
The pros of a therapist are a) such help is available all over the UK i.e. locally to the client b) repeat appointment are the norm, making it more likely that the client will do the work
the cons are; a) though the therapist knows the theory and practice of how to use CBT on social anxiety conditions, she (and the majority of clinical psychologists are female) will not have personal experience of male toilets. She cannot buddy the client and so help the client in identifying the steps in the hierarchy and, more importantly, how to split steps into smaller and seemingly illogical mini steps.
The pros of a workshop are: a) meeting others in the same boat and realising that they are a cross-section of normal men and women. This is powerful plus, because many clients have an unspoken fear that the others will be inadequates. It is a pleasant surprise to find them to be personable and competent guys with whom they can have an enjoyable drink.
b) benefiting from real life experience and anecdotes from the leaders showing that what they fear about public toilets does not in fact happen. Admittedly they can hear this message from us and not really believe it, but once we get them to the point of going in public toilets, they then see the proof of what we say, resulting in a strongly positive impact on their confidence.
c) The expertise of the leaders in helping them to establish their personal hierarchies. This cannot be over-estimated: as you know the slightest thing can be a set back, and it never ceases to amaze me in how many ways the amygdala can be spooked, and then fooled into acceptance – if you know how to.
d) the experience we have built up on a whole range of helpful techniques and topics: most are on the forum.
The cons of a workshop are:
a) we cannot do the follow up on a weekly basis. We depend on the guys doing the works themselves, and that is hard.
b) We can manage the demand just; any increase in demand would overwhelm us.
I suppose a partnership could work well. Use the workshop for its benefits, in tandem with a CBT practitioner back home who would provide the ongoing weekly, then monthly, support, discipline and guidance.
You mention the need for national TV exposure. Back in 2002 we got onto the Richard and Judy show; OK it was daytime viewing, but it did get a large audience. We also got a quite a lot of radio telephone in interviews: both Radio 4 and local radio.
We get requests from journalists from time to time: the problem there is that they want named individuals and photos. Both being a no-no for people with paruresis.
Hi Andrew Thanks for the reply. You are right about the ratio of female therapists to mail. Most of the training courses I have done, the men are normally outnumbered 10 to 1. I have raised paruresis on a number of courses and with fellow therapists and noone has heard of it.Just shows how few people actually seek therapy for it. What was particularly disappointing was that one female therapist actually laughed when I mentioned it. I think it is one of the few anxiety disorders that would need a male therapist.
