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Just back from the Follow Up workshop in Manchester July 2011
Posted by Mike on 17/7/2011, 11:57 pm Message modified by board administrator 18/7/2011, 9:32 am
Hello all, especially those who were on the follow-up workshop with me this weekend. Well, Manchester lived up to its rainy reputation, but as I was there on a UKPT workshop the weather didn't really matter, and at least it turned out ok for a pleasent Saturday evening walk after around the centre.
As for as the workshop I found it very useful in reinforcing some progress I'd made on my own since the last one, getting back into the act of desensing and also reminding me of a few ideas and facts that I had forgotten, plus a very big part of it is just being in a group of people who all have the same problem and are able to share so many similar experiences.
One idea that came up that I've been thinking about is attacking the problem from two sides. For me that has been
1. Worrying less about it, which has come from telling people about it, and also a mixture of other things, but general advice from UKPT and reading up about psychology - e.g. find positives about each week, humour, treating the problem as something separate from you, e.g. a "boo monster" etc.
2. Desensing to improve the practical problem, which I've gone through periods of doing reasonably regularly (three times a week for a few weeks roughly), but not done seriously for a couple of years until back on this workshop. This has raised my level to being pretty confident of being able to go in a cubicle if I need to, and often finding urinals aren't a problem.
So there's a smaller problem left in between the two fronts of attack, progress on either front is good - I like to think of it like that.
So to summarise workshops were great for me, I used to avoid urinals almost completely, definitely if not empty and a large part of my life was consumed with worrying about where I would next be able to go to the toilet. I do feel like my life has been transformed (not over a weekend, but as a result of finding this site and going on the workshops and following up what came out of them), I still have the problem but know how I can reduce it if I decide to prioritise desensing over other more fun things that take up my limited spare time. I'm expecting I might have a break between contracts in the Autumn so may have a concerted effort then when I have more spare time, in the mean time I'm planning at a least weekly desense in a local shopping centre.
Thanks to all the other particpants, we're quite geographically dispersed, but would be good to keep in touch and I'd be happy to meet up with any of you again, maybe be in touch bia email. Also have to say thanks to Andrew, for another weekend and all the time he gives up.
cheers Mike
Re: Just back from the Follow Up workshop in Manchester July 2011
I have also just come back from the same follow-up workshop as Mike and hope that everyone else got back ok in the end. It was indeed a rainy weekend in Manchester but we were all situated very well there in the town. This time it was a great bunch of all male participants at this workshop but I know from past experience that women often sign up too. So to start a massive big ‘Thanks’ to Andrew for making it possible and I hope my brief synopsis will encourage others who may have been thinking about attending a workshop before to really give it a go.
One of the questions posed at the work shop was ‘I wonder what we would all be like now if this was actually held over the course of one week’? Our workshop just like all the others was held over the period of just over two and half days where within that time you get a truly a monumental and pivotal amount of time to invest in yourself. In just over a weekend you get an un-describable experience that no amount of other therapy could ever hope to achieve for you. My own experience is coming into the workshop with my usual limited beliefs and hang ups about myself leading me to constantly think and evaluate where and when it would normally be possible for me to safely take a pee in every day life - to coming out at the end of the work shop having just been successful in situations that I would have before never thought possible.
Perhaps it’s fair to say that the reason why the workshops are not run any longer then the time allotted is mainly because that's is all you need to get your on the way to a recovery where you come away from the workshop armed with all the material as well as an arsenal of ‘useful tools’ to help you a long the way. You are yourself the proof of what you have achieved at the end and you go back with the responsibility to maintain your own recovery from that point onwards. That said being aware of your hierarchy is vital and will help lead your recovery which is something I realise now more than ever. There’s still probably going to be good and bad days on the road in ahead but this time you have all the coping mechanisms at your side to help you with the wealth of support and encouragement from the others posting on here too.
Paruresis can be seen as and perceived as many things and it has been likened almost to use people as it’s ‘host’ where it hopes they will just keep quiet and not squeal about it too anyone. Don’t let it stay anymore – Go on a workshop and make the start to banish it for good!
Re: Just back from the Follow Up workshop in Manchester July 2011
Two great posts from fellow attendees at the Manchester workshop. I was kindly allowed on this follow up workshop, as a beginner, because I had let the condition cause serious problems in my work and personal life. It was great to meet several "ordinary guys" like me and share their experiences. As with Mike and Steve, a great big thank you to Andrew for all of the effort he puts in. A truly remarkable bloke, as I experienced at first hand on the workshop. If, like me, you have procrastinated for so long that it has destroyed your life, get it back and attend a workshop. Good luck to the rest of you guys and sorry I missed you at the end Steve.