This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
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Well, well, well... after 21 years I've discovered I'm not alone. When I was 17 I went to a club with some friends. I remember being unable to 'go' in the urinal so moved to the cubicle, where to my horror I misfired. I deliberately picked a university with good opportunities for urinating (rural halls of residence) and somehow got through the years by making up stories about nipping to the cashpoint etc. I plucked up the courage to see my GP, who had no idea what I was talking about, so left embarrassed and convinced I was alone with my problem. I've learned my own coping strategies over the years and have a pretty decent 'hit-rate' now (as long as there's a cubicle). Basically, I occupy my mind by guessing how many items are around me - eg number of tiles across the front wall / back wall, number of pipes, number of items on window ledge. Its simple but effective. There... that's better out!
It certainly is better out. And I hope you feel much better for realising you are not unique. In fact misfires are surprisingly common, especially at that critical age where insecurity bumps up against peer pressure. Had you returned to that cubicle 5 minutes later and peed, you probaably would not have got into the vicious circle that spirals down into paruresis.
However you have managed - well done. Now come on a workshop and crack it for good, then your hit rate wont depends on there being a cubicle!
Thanks, chaps. I get the feeling there are a lot of dedicated folk reading the message board. Its all kind of ironic, finding all the help, advice & support now; I really struggled in my early 20s (39 now). The stories I could tell! I remember clubbing in Manchester one new year when despite having planned my 'opportunities' meticulously beforehand, it got to the 'achy kidney' point. God knows how I managed, but I somehow held out before passing out & got to a quiet side street. It always seemed strange that I could perform down a public alleyway but not in a private cubicle! How the hell was I never mugged, arrested or worse? Despite some tricky times, I've never really turned down any life oppotunities because of it. I guess its easier now because of the chances my mind has had to come to terms with it, and also I don't get the chance to go out as much. Fascinated by the thought that there may still be room for improvement though!