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Finally I have communicated about my embarrassing secret
Posted by Paul on 18/4/2011, 11:33 pm
Hi Guys, I'm so glad I have now finally looked up on the internet why I can't pee in front of people - Paruresis.
I have now read so much on what it is about and will try and cure myself for good. I don't normally have a problem going in cubicals, if the toilets are empty and only me in there I can sometime goes in the urinal if I feel I won't be interrupted, normally because it's a quiet bar/pub with not many people around. As soon as someone comes in the flow of peeing that I started stops instantly. When I知 in Pubs on a night when it痴 busy I can only go if I知 in a cubical, which is fine sometimes when I知 not with male friends, but if I end up with people I know in the toilet I just stand there at the urinal and pretend knowing full well that I知 not going to do anything.
I知 glad that now I have finally made the effort to overcome Paruresis and get help, it痴 so reassuring to know that there are others who suffer from this, I知 sure there will be many many more who will never come out and try and over come this, we can only hope they do.
I do have a quick question if anyone can help.
On this website I have read 'components of a CBT based approach, The Basics of Graduated Exposure' and will definitely try this. I know there is no quick fix to anything in life, but I am very curious as to whether any of these other website that claim to offer a cure actually work, such as 'www.paruresistreatment.com' by Rich Presta, will this be a complete waste of money?
Thanks for reading my post, a massive life-long weight has just been lifting from my shoulders!
Re: Finally I have communicated about my embarrassing secret
Hello Paul, please forgive me if I'm wrong, but let me first start by saying there was something about your post that made me a little sceptical as to whether it was actually a genuine post, or whether it was just intended to draw people to the other site you mention - but if we ignore that for one moment - I would say that I took a quick look at that site and I was not initially convinced by it.
There is a definite 'marketing' feel to the first page - and the type of prose used, and reinforcing, repeating language, is one that I've seen on many internet sites that are trying to get you to sign up for something and buy a product.
If you do have this problem I would personally recommend the workshops run by this site's (non-profit) organisation (UKPT). I myself have attended one of these courses and it was excellent. The people who run the courses are genuinely trying to help the people who attend, and are volunteers, not seeking to make any money for themselves.
You can make advances in a couple of days that might have taken years, or more likely decades, of 'self practice' to achieve. (In fact I would personally say that trying any other way than attending one of these courses is unlikely to work. I had this condition for decades and made little progress with it before I attended the workshop. Now I am more than happy with my own progress).
Please, to anyone in the UK (or elsewhere if they can reach the UK) with this problem - these workshops really are a massive help and I cannot recommend them too highly. Attendance can make a big difference to your life, and although attendance can make most people nervous before they attand - they can turn out to be one on the best weekends of your life - not only for the progress you can make but also because of the brilliant people you will meet - both facilitators and other attendees. The guys on my course were a really great bunch - I'm just sorry these courses weren't available years ago.
Anyway, good luck with your condition - but please do attend a course if possible.
regards
Re: Finally I have communicated about my embarrassing secret
Yes, my post was definitely genuine. I wrote that message last night off the top of my head, realised I waffled on for a bit and that I did not give a subject title, So again I was just being honest and open with the subject title. I do see it as a secret as well as a massive burden of my life for years. I have never told anyone or even been close to it so I feel communicating now is the very first step. Thanks for your post Mike.
Re: Finally I have communicated about my embarrassing secret
Welcome to the message board. Its always nice to see another person happy they have come accross it
Get booked onto a workshop asap, you will not regret it. In the meantime, have a read through as many posts as you can, and read through the info/advice on the main website.
