U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

This Discussion Board is for men who find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
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Can't urinate in my own home :(

Posted by Anon on 9/12/2010, 8:28 am

Hi,

I have been suffering with problems of going to the loo, in public and at home for as long as i can remember.
It's really starting to get to me as now i'm in a house Share with my friends and have lived with them for 3 years.

I was wondering if anyone had any tips that they use to help them urinate... As i'm not just going to the toilet sitting down and nothing is happening... Even if i put the shower on as drown out noise i can;t do it..

I even struggle when everyone is out of the house or in bed.. i just don't know why it is this bad.

Any help is muchly appreciated thanks

Re: Can't urinate in my own home :(

Posted by Raymond on 9/12/2010, 9:45 am, in reply to "Can't urinate in my own home :("

Hi there

Your situation sounds very like mine used to be. I often couldn't even urinate when no-one else was in the house at times.

There's lots of advice you could be given to help, but the best advice I can give is for you to enrol for the Beginner's Workshop, it really was a life changing experience for me, and now I can manage most situations. The workshops are so easy going you are made to feel completely at ease, and at no time is anything compulsory. In short, it will probably be the best decision you ever made.

I'm sure that Andrew will be able to fill in with a lot more good advice, but in the meantime, do remember this condition IS manageable when using the right techniques.

Kind regards

Raymond

Re: Can't urinate in my own home :(

Posted by Andrew on 9/12/2010, 10:14 am, in reply to "Can't urinate in my own home :("

Hi Anon

You have a severe case of paruresis, and it is severely impacting your everyday life.

The first step is to be able to void when you need to, irrespective of circumstance. Only then will you be in a state to take stock and decide how to do something about it.

You need to go to your GP and say that you are getting uncontrollable urinary retention. S/he should refer you to a urologist to check whether there is any physical obstruction. Then to a clinical psychologist for a course of CBT. As Raymond said, our workshops, which use a CBT approach, are found to be very helpful.

You also need to ask your GP to be shown how to self-catheterise: that way you will be able to empty your bladder anytime. Email me at the support address above and I will send you supporting information. Some GPs are reluctant to do this, which is why you need this information. This would be all totally confidential.

Get in touch now

cheers

Andrew
Chairman

Re: Can't urinate in my own home :(

Posted by Mark L on 9/12/2010, 4:13 pm, in reply to "Re: Can't urinate in my own home :("

Hi,

Welcome to the messgage board. Sorry to hear of the severity of your AP. I too was in a similar position years ago and have come such a long way.

After seeing your GP, see how you feel about coming on a weekend workshop as this is the next best step you can take. You will have your own hotel room if that helps the decision.

I went down the self catheter route and im glad I did as it has ment I can go on long plane journies/stag nights etc without worrying or not drinking. I know it might not have been what you were expecting - putting up a message about paruresis and having suggested that you should try catheters! But in reality there it really isnt that big a deal. Imagine being able to go anywhere at any time with anyone around... You can carry 3+ in one pocket if you need to.

Either way, get to your GP and let us know how it goes. Dont feel ashamed/embarrased as more people than you think have this condition.

Regards,

Mark

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