This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
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U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.
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Hello everyone, I have been visiting this website for perhaps 6 months or so now. But now finally I have plucked up the courage to post something. Before I found this website I felt totally alone, I didnt realise the problem was so common. All the stories I have read here have touched me deeply, and obviously I can relate.
The pain and anguish caused by this condition is horrible, and I think about the impact it has on my social life. I really want to eradicate this problem from my life, im 22, and feel that I could still do alot with myself if I could beat it.
I have noticed about the workshops and I am very interested about attending one, but I will not be able to make the latest one, could I ask when the next London workshop will be after the upcoming one?
In the meantime Im trying to think of ways to fight Paruresis until I will be able to attend a wrokshop. I am thinking of about talking ot my doctor about it. I also noticed a book called 'Bold Bladder' and the website seems very positive. But I am cautious as you can only buy the book on the website, so I dont know if it is a scam. Has anyone read this book or had any success with it? Thanks for your time everyone.
I believe that we can all beat this.
Re: Hello
Posted by Andrew on 9/9/2010, 8:40 am, in reply to "Hello"
Hi Naps
Good to hear from you, and glad you no longer feel alone. You have made the most important decision, which is that you can beat it.
About the workshops: pity about London; is Manchester not an option? The next London one will be in the New Year, January or February; no date fixed as yet.
About the book. Could be genuine, but who knows. I can instead recommend Shy Bladder Syndrome by Steve Soifer et al. Lots of participants at workshops have read it and found it helpful. Also I know Steve, who runs the American association (IPA), and he is genuine. To buy it, there is a link on the Books page of our website www.ukpt.org.uk
In fact have you read our website; cos there is a lot of advice there on what you can do yourself.
Do use this forum to ask questions; you will get replies from guys who have been where you are.
It would be helpful to know how you are affected i.e. where you can and cant go. Then we can advise you more precisely on what you can do, and how to tackle the GP.
Look forward to hearing from you
cheers
Andrew
Re: Hello
Posted by Naps on 9/9/2010, 5:22 pm, in reply to "Re: Hello"
hey Andrew, cheers for the response.
I would say with me, it is sometimes mild and sometimes severe. I have been aware of it since I was about 11. I can urinate in a urinal at my local pub, and thats like one of those old trough things, but thats only usually if the toilet is empty. At its worst I can be sat on a toilet waiting for nothing but a few drops, while im in agony just willing myself to go.
I can go in places that have more than one cubicle without fail most of the time, but if its only one cubicle and its busy then theres a problem, espcially if there is no lock. What amazes me is that I can usually go in portaloos without much problem, even if there is a large queue. I was gutted on my latest trip to watch a football match at Wembley to find portaloos were not there anymore, as they are some what of a 'failsafe'.
No gos for me are usually pubs when they are busy, thats if its a pub with AP unfriendly design (which is most i find). I definantly cant go to clubs, when I have in the past, it was hell. One time a bouncer peered in at me when I was in a cubicle at a club! It was a haloween themed night aswell! I remember reading a post on here where a guy said on a night out he would have to make excuses to leave a pub if he could not urinate there, I have done the same thing many times. As it stands I have cut back alot in going out, in the past I would persevere, but sometimes the pain is too much and I would rather stay at home.
Its that when Im with my friends, and see the way they can almost whip it out wherever and not be bothered, I just want to be like that! Some of the places they have been able to go amaze me.
I will look into the book you have mentioned, aswell as the rest of the site. I have usually only looked at the message boards. The Manchester workshop is aswell not really possible for me this time round, mainly due to a lack of funds. London is alot closer to me and will be easier the next time the workshop comes around.
Thanks, Naps.
Re: Hello
Posted by Andrew on 9/9/2010, 7:47 pm, in reply to "Re: Hello"
Hi Naps
Good to read your story; each story is unique to the individual, and yet shares aspects with everyone else.
The reason the others can whip it out and go anywhere, is that it is a total non-event for them; totally forgettable. Unlearning the anxiety surrounding having a pee is a gradual process of getting used to managing in an easy situation, so as to be able to try in a slightly less easy place; repeating that until that becomes routine, then moving up a bit further and so on. But read about it on the website.
You mention: “mainly due to lack of funds”. Email me and lets sort out something.
Cheers
Andrew
Re: Hello
Posted by Gav on 9/9/2010, 8:32 pm, in reply to "Re: Hello"
Hi Naps,
Im 23 myself, and suffered with this for as many years as I can remember, i havent come accross anyone our age group before that have it, and its not somthing thats easy to talk about to others. I hate the fact i end up sat at home cause its too much of an ordeal to go out and have a couple of drinks! I wondered if you might have been up for a chat somtime?
Cheers Gav
Re: Hello
Posted by Mark L on 9/9/2010, 11:41 pm, in reply to "Re: Hello"
Hi mate,
well done for posting up and wanting to take action against this. I know exactly how you feel as I rarely went out and if I did then I wouldnt drink all anything after lunch so Id has less inside me in the evening.
From finding this site and attending the forums, my AP has reduced dramatically. Im sure you will be the same.
Please let us know how you get on in the meantime and feel free to ask anything which may help.
Cheers,
Mark
Re: Hello
Posted by Andrew on 10/9/2010, 10:15 am, in reply to "Re: Hello"
Hi Gav
About your age group; on the workshops we have had every age group from 18 to 85! Those in their twenties and thirties predominate.
cheers
Andrew
Re: Hello
Posted by Pete on 10/9/2010, 4:16 pm, in reply to "Re: Hello"
Hi Naps, I'm the 85 year-old (nearly 87 now ! ) that Andrew mentions and until a couple of years ago I was in your position thinking that I alone, in all the world, had this problem. How daft can you get ! I owe a tremendous amount to this website, to the "Shy Bladder Syndrome" book, to the Workshops ( I have been to two ) and to Andrew and Colin who ran them. I'm not completely "cured" but my life has been transformed, as yours will be if you follow Andrew's advice. You are a youngster with years and years ahead to enjoy. Go for it, and the best of luck. Pete.
Re: Hello
Posted by Naps on 13/9/2010, 8:09 pm, in reply to "Re: Hello"
Thanks for the responses everyone.
Gav, I would be up for a chat sometime. I agree, it can be an ordeal just to to go out and have some drinks!
Mark, and Pete, thanks for your input aswell. Your tale has inspired me alot Pete.
Andrew, how can I email you? Is it the support email address supplied at the top of the page?
thanks, naps
Re: Hello
Posted by Andrew on 14/9/2010, 9:55 am, in reply to "Re: Hello"
Hi Naps
Yes you can contact me at the email address at the top of the page.
cheers
Andrew
Re: Hello
Posted by Gav on 19/9/2010, 6:20 pm, in reply to "Re: Hello"
Hi Naps,
Sorry about my delayed response... been non stop with work... if your still up for that chat just e-mail me on this address... gav1987@live.co.uk
Andrew... When and where is the next workshop, I am in Scotland, is there anything up here?
Thanks Gav
Re: Hello
Posted by Andrew on 19/9/2010, 7:22 pm, in reply to "Re: Hello"
Hi Gav
The next Beginners workshop? The details are on this forum mate! 8-10 October in Manchester. Sorry, we are not running them in Scotland at present.
