This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
The Board is maintained and moderated by the
U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.
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The last time that I was on this site was many years ago. I even attended the first Steve Soifer workshop down in Windsor so long ago. I was pretty bad, couldn't form relationships, difficulty holding down my job, lying to my mates about being unable to go places like nightclubs and flights. All because of this condition. Looking back it was a pretty depressing time. Now though it is in the past. I never even think about it. How did this happen?
It happened due to two things, Seroxat and caths. I spent a year on seroxat and used caths whenever I needed to, restaurants, parties, planes, peoples houses etc. I must have cathed 200 times but never had any problems (none of this infection stuff that is mentioned). It got to the point that I used caths so much that there was no fear of not being able to go because the cath was always there. This eventually made the cath redundant and I came off seroxat after one year with no bad effects. I have not used a cath for five years but I do always take a few with me on a plane. This condition has now vanished and I travel all over the world with my girlfriend. They say that a cath is a crutch, it is, but a crutch is only used while you heal and then it is thrown away. Those of you that are thinking that using a cath is a bit severe for this condition are right. But complete freedom only comes from knowing that when you really need to go (in a police station, in a hospital, in a plane, out with a partner, at a party), you can whatever the circumstances. That is freedom from this condition.
Good luck to you all, there can be an end to this problem, I never believed it myself back in those dark days but there is.
Thanks for sharing your progress and well done to you! Iv used caths several times, like clubs and always take on long trips just in case. I would 100% recomend them also, iv had no side affects either.
You say you never think about it anymore, how did you overcome urinals with others around? Or havent you achieved this yet? A cath can enable you to go anywhere without fail when used, but it cant 'reasure' you enough to go standing next to a mate...
Hi Peter, Your comments on catheters are interesting and it's encouraging to hear how you have overcome the problems associated with AP. Like you I felt that having a failsafe 'get out' would be good way to start overcoming paruresis but unfortunately I found the process uncomfortable and painful. The type of catheter I used was a disposable Holister self lubricating Instantcath. Please could let me know what type of catheter you found worked so well for you as I am hoping that maybe a different type of catheter would bring better results. Kind regards,Tonto
Apart from the model of the catheter, you need to consider what size (i.e. diameter of the tube) and also the choice between two sorts of tip. If you email me (support address at top of page) I can send you a compilation of several people's experiences.
Because it is painful, you should go back to the surgery or urologist who showed you how to use it and get advice. I hope you are not trying to do this without being shown how by a trained person.
My first ever time of using one was very uncomfortable and quite painful. When tried for the second time, it wasnt really painful but just uncomfortable. I got used to it after a few more times and consider it as no big deal. If you are experienceing alot of pain every time, then as Andrew says try a different one.
The ones I got given free from the hospital dont have any markings atall on them, but they are self lubricating, single use ones. They are 4mm in diameter.
