This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
The Board is maintained and moderated by the
U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.
For
further information, visit our website, or contact us at
I have 'had' avoidant paruresis for a very long time since childhood, now 36. I have tried the usual methods of treatment that I know work very well for most people but to no effect. Around a year ago I had sessions with an NHS phycological councillor and she suggested social anxiety disorder (I do find talking with people other than close friends difficult as well as telephone calls, etc and can stammer, shake etc).
Does anyone else with AP have these kinds of difficulties? Perhaps I need a different approach to sorting out AP?
Hi Phil. I have "had" AP for even longer than you (now in my 50's) and also would say I have social anxiety, although not officially diagnosed by anyone. I can type here 'til the cows come home but find it very difficult to converse freely face to face & particularly on the 'phone. I've accepted that this is my lot in life up to now but having found this site I am thinking of going on one of the Workshops with an aim to at least help the AP. That would doubtless help the confidence. Jim.
Shy Bladder used to be classed as a specific social phobia, but is now seen as a specific social anxiety. By that is meant: 1. a performance is impaired by anxiety and 2. the anxiety is triggered by other people (actual or virtual) and 3. the result is a strong avoidance behaviour pattern.
Specific is as opposed to generalised. If specific, only one aspect of public performance can be impaired e.g. peeing, public speaking, public eating, acting; otherwise more than one aspect is impaired.
A proportion of those who attend our workshops say they feel awkward socially, and so tend to avoid social situations.
The therapy for shy bladder is CBT: both graduated exposure to get used to performing i.e. peeing; but also cognitive aspects are looked at i.e. what goes on in your head e.g. negative thoughts. We also have done a little bit on how to handle conversations with strangers, which has been well received.
There does seem to be a vicious circle involved: shy bladder can knock one's self-confidence: then the lack of self-confidence makes the shy bladder worse and so on. If you have social anxiety on two or more aspects, then they can feed into each other, and so they all need to be dealt with in a therapy.
We find that a workshop can start a turn round towards a virtuous circle. What you achieve on a workshop boosts your self-confidence, which then helps with other aspects of life.
I hope this helps: do not hesitate to get back with more questions and/or discussion about this here, or by email