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just been to a big gig in London when my problem became a real issue. I struggle to pee in public urinals when there are lots of other guys there. It's not a problem when I can find a quiet corner away from others but sometimes that isn't possible and then my problem becomes a nightmare.
i think it started when I went to the loos and was unable to pee while there were others stood near me. Now I have a fear of not being able to pee while others are around - even if a few minutes earlier I was desperate to go - and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I find I stand there and no more than a trickle occurs. This makes my anxiety worse and that makes it even harder to pee and then I just die of embarrassment and fear of ridicule or worse - accusations and questions of what am I doing there when it isnt for a pee.
This mean that at a recent gig I had to use a cubicle. This meant having to wait in a long slow queue - making my g/f wait for ages for my return - not good!!! Festivals are Ok as I can use the long-drops and/or porta-loos as they are private (no over-lookers) but now at the age of 53 it's time I did something about this.
What can I do about this? I now realize I am not on my own but I am not sure that helps when I am in the middle of a very crowded gents loo.
I like the idea of holding my breath (from another discussion posting). Does closing your eyes work? Are there any simple steps to take? Should I seek the help of a hypnotherapist or NLP counsellor? Any suggestions?
Re: Big Gig Nightmare
Posted by Geoff P on 11/7/2009, 11:03 am, in reply to "Big Gig Nightmare"
Hi Mike,
Have you read the info on the main site about desensing? It sounds like you are determined to use urinals but are finding it too much of a challenge. Taking a step back and using a cubicle is not any sort of a failure.
Read the info, mate. Start yourself off slowly and gradually build up towards being able to go in a busy urinal. The last thing you want is that self fulfilling prophecy!
Keep posting. You'll get loads of helpful tips from the other guys. We're all in this together, you know!
As Geoff says, have a read of the info on the main sight. Also look at the topic called "time to face my fears" by Richard as hes in a similar position to you. Just remember that using a cubicle is ok, you'll be suprised at how many men use them who dont have AP!
Definatly consider a workshop, it will help you what ever stage you're at. Read the topic near the top on beginners workshops and email the address at the top of the page for info on the next one.