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UK paruresis trust

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London Beginners Workshop

Posted by Geoff P on 28/6/2009, 7:59 pm

Ha! I got here first Pete

This is to say a massive THANK YOU to Andrew and Colin for the London Beginners Workshop that 8 of us have just been on . You not only gave us your knowledge and experience, you gave us your time and time costs. Thank you.

I had been trying not to have too high an expectation of what I might achieve on the workshop, because I didn't want to be disappointed. Well, all I can say now is WOW!!! My expectations and hopes were blown out of the water! If any of you guys or ladies are in any doubt whatsoever about whether a workshop is worth going on , IT IS !!!!!! Go for it. It WILL change your life.

And it's SO easy. You'll feel 100% safe . You won't have to do anything you don't want to or feel comfortable about . And, beleive it or not, it's actually FUN . And you'll meet a great bunch of mates ( the wink's especially for you Chris-the only guy who's ever winked at me on the way to the toilet!!).

So, if you haven't got it yet, the message is GO FOR IT.

And thanks to to all you guys ( I won't put your names, in case you rather I didn't, but I mean every one of you ) who were on the workshop with me. You all helped me in one way or another and I won't forget you. Thank you. We've shared something very intimate and that makes us a lot more than aquaintances or fellow course mates.

Keep going with it guys. Post your experiences. And here's to freedom!! (that's one each!)

Cheers friends,

From your friend,

Geoff.

Re: London Beginners Workshop

Posted by K. on 28/6/2009, 8:30 pm, in reply to "London Beginners Workshop"

I thought you might be first Geoff. I told you not to be nervous and just enjoy it . Maybe you now know what I meant.

Do keep up the good work.

Re: London Beginners Workshop

Posted by Pete L on 29/6/2009, 9:54 am, in reply to "London Beginners Workshop"

Ha ha ha!! I can't believe you beat me to it mate!!! I knew I should have gone on the net in the lobby!!

I actually couldn't put in to better words (that may surprise the other fantastic 9!) what Geoff has said. The workshop was relaxed, relaxed and relaxed. Whatever anxiety you may have about attending the workshop, there is no need for it. As a matter of FACT, it was fun! If you read the notes on this site, you are already aware that you are not alone so, take that one small step forward, get to a workshop.

Andrew and Colin are absolutely fantastic, I am so pleased I got to meet them, you will be to when you go to a workshop.

The other guys, well, when you yourself attend one of these workshops, you will understand the level of the instant friendship you gain. You all know who you are, and it was a pleasure to interact with you all. Pity I missed the winking though......did that go with the helicopter!!!!

Andrew and Colin, you have shown me the way to a life, which I never thought I would have. Looking forward to coming to the improvers workshop and meeting with you again. No 'buts' just 'ands'!!

Thanks thanks thank thanks thanks

Pete (& numpty!)

Re: London Beginners Workshop

Posted by Geoff P on 29/6/2009, 11:18 am, in reply to "Re: London Beginners Workshop"

Tell you what guys, I'm missing you all already

I'm missing your happy faces coming out of the loos and being able to encourage you

I had a good experience in two of my local toilets this morning. Both are troughs, so there's no division. I just wanted to come out and be able to tell you, but you weren't there So glad we've got this board to post on. Please keep in touch

Your friend,

Geoff.

Re: London Beginners Workshop

Posted by chris on 30/6/2009, 1:46 pm, in reply to "Re: London Beginners Workshop"

well done geoff , i missed that when i'd posted.

Re: London Beginners Workshop

Posted by Pete L on 29/6/2009, 3:51 pm, in reply to "London Beginners Workshop"

Hi all

Something I missed out on my previous post, which I think is very important. Although we all had a great deal of fun and left the workshop feeling happy and positive, when we arrived on the Friday night, we all looked and felt extremely nervous. It doesn't matter about this, you would not be there if you felt any different. The good thing is, you will soon relax.

So, if you are thinking 'I am too nervous' or 'what am i to expect'........... IT IS NORMAL!!!

Pete

Re: London Beginners Workshop

Posted by chris on 29/6/2009, 9:46 pm, in reply to "London Beginners Workshop"

I’m writing this with the hope that anyone visiting this web site, silently suffering from paruresis will take in and act on what I have to say.

This weekend I attended a beginner’s workshop in London with amazing results.

Like you I have been suffering from paruresis (or shy bladder) for longer than I can remember. I can’t emphasize this enough ‘I suffered with all the pain and frustration of being bursting for a pee but having no control over when it would come out’.

Before attending I’d not been at a urinal with success, in the presents of another person, since junior school (I’m now in my mid twenties).
On the last day I walked into a busy service station toilet, stood at the urinal and emptied my bladder.

You may read this and think it won’t happen to you. You may be right… but I can assure you there will be a dramatic improvement in your performance! Dramatic!

You need to book yourself on a beginner’s workshop! Andrew and Colin are fantastic, they know exactly what you are going through but have the advantage of coming out the other side.

To the guy’s I met on the workshop I was touched by how quickly we bonded. This was such a personal burden for me as I’m sure it ‘was’ for you. I’m so glad I went, not only because of the personal goals that I achieved, but because it was a real pleasure to met you all.

I seriously never thought I’d wink at a man I barely knew on the way to the toilet! A bit of ‘freedom’ makes you do funny things.

Thank you Andrew and Colin, like Geoff says if it wasn’t for your time and energy I personally would not have made the steps I have. I look forward to the improver’s workshop; I hope you can all make it.

I’d Just like to say congratulations to Geoff and back luck to Pete (With the grin that Geoff had on his face I didn’t think you’d beat him on here).

Re: London Beginners Workshop

Posted by Chris 2 on 29/6/2009, 11:09 pm, in reply to "Re: London Beginners Workshop"

I can only echo the thoughts of everyone above. I was very anxious about attending at first and even up until the day before I thought about not going. However, I am very glad that I did attend, mainly for 3 reasons:

1. I realised that I wasn't alone in this problem and that I wasn't a freak.
2. Colin and Andrew gave us some wonderful advice and tips in order to help overcome the condition and we all made progress, be it physically or mentally.
3. I had a great weekend, with a great bunch of guys.

Well done Geoff on your success with the troughs, I'm not sure if I'm quite at the stage to try that yet but on the way home I did have a success at St Pancras station toilets .

It's been emotional, thanks everyone.

Re: London Beginners Workshop

Posted by Ali on 1/7/2009, 11:27 am, in reply to "London Beginners Workshop"
Message modified by board administrator 1/7/2009, 3:43 pm

Hi guys!

Well, i'll start with a background of my problem pre-workshop. I had trouble going whenever anyone was in earshot, or if i had a time constraint, such as people waiting for me, or even if anyone was just aware that i had gone to the toilet, even with a cubicle or toilet door closed and locked. This was obviously affecting my life massively. I would be constantly second guessing when i needed to go, making it more stressful, and always quickly trying to go when i thought it might be an opportune moment, without a decent urgency, resulting in constant 'misfires', i.e. times i couldn't go.

Now considering i went from that, in one and a half days of a gradual desensitisation process i walked into a busy service station and calmly used a urinal. It felt as life changing as it sounds! I can't stress enough to anyone who is suffering from AP the importance of getting yourself to a workshop.

I was personally pleased to be going to it, as i thought, at last i can get some help, but as you could tell from the uneasy faces on friday evening and saturday morning ,I like everyone else, was nervous as hell about the desensing and what it would involve. There was no need to be! It shortly became fun!

I know this is hard to imagine, but it's true! The surreal experience of sitting down in a group and talking with others about why you can't have a piss and them empathising with you quickly started a lot of brilliant friendly banter, with a massively positive atmosphere throughout, with everyone encouraging each other!
Now i understand how easy this is to describe now i have done it as before going it was very difficult to commit to a workshop, but i urge you to do so. You will not regret it.

Andrew and Colin structured the weekend superbly, and as well as encouragement gave so so many helpful ideas and mindsets which has left me feeling fully armed to beat this completely! I am so grateful to them for the time and effort they put in, really doing an amazing job!

Finally, i'd like to say thanks to all the other guys in the group for such a brilliant weekend. A better bunch of guys i could not imagine, i will remember every one of you. I too was very touched by the bond that i soon felt, and the banter was absoultely top class! I wish you all good luck, and hope to see as many of you as possible at the improver's workshop!

All the best,
Ali

p.s. started my desensing in bluewater the next day, and although i missed being able to tell you all about my successes and general observations, the workshop gave me the power to do the whole thing with a smile on my face and to give myself a pat on the back at the end

Re: London Beginners Workshop

Posted by Pete L on 1/7/2009, 12:08 pm, in reply to "Re: London Beginners Workshop"

Hi Ali

Well done you!! A fantastic start to your new self!

I went to the gym yesterday and managed to go just fine. On arrival I didn't need to go but just stood there anyway, soaking up the enviroment. After finishing at the gym my urge was slightly stronger and I went just fine. Great, great, bloody great!!!

Pete

Re: London Beginners Workshop

Posted by Ali on 1/7/2009, 1:38 pm, in reply to "Re: London Beginners Workshop"

Cheers Pete!
Well done yourself

Re: London Beginners Workshop

Posted by Geoff P on 1/7/2009, 10:05 pm, in reply to "Re: London Beginners Workshop"

Hi Ali,

It Was really great to meet you on the workshop. You're doing great!! Well done for getting straight on with it at Bluewater.

I spent a long time on the phone to my son last night, telling him all about the weekend and the whole problem. I've wanted to tell him for a while but there didn't seem to be the right opportunity. He was great (as I was sure he would be). It was a real bonding experience. I'm really looking forward to our first pee together (sorry Kev, You may NOT be looking forward to it !), though it may be a while as doing it next to someone you know well is harder, I reckon.

Well, cheers Ali. Keep in touch and keep desensing.

Geoff.

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