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Progress has been pretty slow & I’ve not practised desensing as much as I’d have liked, but having said that I don’t feel like I’ve taken a step backwards since the workshop so that’s good because I’m sure that’d be easy to do.
My trouble has been finding situations in which to go in my routine day. Work environment gives me no opportunity (self employed working from home office). I’ve been using the gym toilette, but it’s a small toilette (2 urinals only) which is not ideal for the level I’m at yet.
I’ve made 3 trips into the city centre soley for the purposes of finding places in which to practise. The first time I went with the intention of working out a circuit, but couldn’t belive how few suitable public toilettes there are (I’ve found 3!).
Other than that the only other times have been when out socialising in bars/restaurants. I find these places often have small toilettes which is not ideal. (Empty is no challenge; people in there is still too much of a chalenge).
On a positive note, I have been succesful in using urinals in larger toilettes (shopping centres & motorway services) with other people around… I just wish I could incorporate desensing more naturally into my day to day life so I’d practise more regularly. I have had a couple of times where I’ve been disapointed with myself for bailing out & using a cubicle but haven’t allowed this get me down.
I’ve been fairly good at keeping a diary of my successes on my laptop which I’ve surprised myself with because that’s the part I thought I’d forget to do.
So overall, steady progress, but progress nonetheless!
Your dilemma is idencical to mine! How can you practice in small WCs when there are only 2/3 urinals?! Empty is no challenge, 1 person in there is too much of a challenge! It takes more courage to 'fake it' in a small WC too, because there isnt much sound so someone else would be able to hear that you're not going! (not that it really matters of course hehe)
There are 2 ways around this which I have tryed...
1. If its empty when you walk in, go up to a urinal and wait. When someone else comes in and goes up to the other urinal, stand for 5 seconds or so then zip up and walk away. This will get you used to being there in someone else's presence but wont make you feel abnormal.
2. When you know its empty, wait outside. When someone else goes in, wait another 20 seconds then go in after them. By which time, the other person will be in mid flow or finishing and heading to the sink. With the tap running, there will be background noise and they will most likely have the're back to you. This will help you get used to being at a urinal in a small WC, with someone else present.
As for heading to a cubicle and feeling dissapointed with yourself, dont be. Sometimes its best to use a cubicle and go, as opposed to trying at a urinal and not being able to go. The latter may give you more dissapointment.
I have tried to incoporate desensing into my daily routine, but it has been harder than i anticipated. Like you, the usual scenario is that either the toilet is empty so there is no challenge, or there are several people in their, so its impossible. A couple of times i've waited it out, but then when everyone has gone so does the difficulty. As you mention the difference between empty and not is huge, especially in small toilets in bars and pubs where just being able to go is struggle.
Nonetheless, i've had a few successes along the way - i've been able to go when there was someone else there a couple of times, but i'm far from consistent.
It'd be good to hear how others are getting on, but keep me updated on your progress.