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Me and a fellow ukpt member went for a session at Rownhams Services earlier today for an hour or 2...
We started on the side as though you are heading towards Bournemouth way as that was the easier WC. It is basically a very large octagional room with the cubicles in the middle. So no matter how busy it is, you can garuntee you can have a whole wall with a row of urinals to yourself, with total privacy. The sink locations are great too, as you can wash your hands, then go for another lap straight away!
We both did very well and had easy control of how close other people were to us. I deffinatly reccomend it to anyone from the Southern area.
We then walked through the tunnel under the motorway to the other side. This one was very challenging as there is a line of 9 urinals with 4 cubicles behind. I didnt quite crack this one today but I had several goes. Being with someone else helps alot as you can both go in together and choose how close to stand to them.
One thing we both noticed... Old men and kids didnt seem to bother us as much/atall! We could stand closer to them and not find it a problem! Anyone else the same?
Mark
Re: De-sensing at Rownhams Services (nr Southampton)
"Old men and kids didnt seem to bother us as much/at all! We could stand closer to them and not find it a problem!"
We are into very primitive instincts here. Obviously for any mammal, an adult is a competitor for food, for a mate, for survival. In contrast a child or an old man is not. Again it is a more sensitive survival instinct at work. Could you think of some way to talk to yourself about this when in the toilet e.g. this is a truce zone, or this is neutral territory? See if that helps?
BTW its odd that one services can have such differing toilets on the same site.
Andrew
Re: De-sensing at Rownhams Services (nr Southampton)
Andrew's theory about our reaction to threats fits in well with my experience in a local loo where there is a female attendant and cleaner. I have often encountered her cleaning the basins and have had no problem peeing in front of her as she presents no threat in the way that a man might. Same applies in French "pay as you pee" loos where there is usually a woman at the door taking the money in full sight of the urinals. So try to think "Where's the threat ? This other guy is only here for a pee, same as I am !"
Pete.
Re: De-sensing at Rownhams Services (nr Southampton)
I was Mark's companion for the de-sense session yesterday, which I really needed having not done a full session since the March follow-up workshop. I endorse everything Mark has said - it's a really good facility and although there are no dividers between the urinals, the fact that you have 3 different walls to choose from means you can start where it is quieter and move round to more challenging situations. And then if you are feeling really brave you can pop across to the other side for a go. Bizarrely, the row of 9 urinals on the northbound side have 2 little gumball machines in between urinals 3 and 4 and between 7 and 8 which almost feel like a bit of a divider when you are stood next to one, which is helpful. It was also good yesterday as it was quite busy with Easter holiday traffic, whereas I have been there before and was not as busy. We were both pleased to see so many cars in the car park when we arrived, which shows how our mindset has changed since going to a workshop - before it would have been, 'Oh no it's busy' whereas yesterday it was like, 'Excellent it's busy!'
Regarding the standing closer to old men or children, I think you are right Andrew that it is a primeval thing, less threatening than a large scary looking bloke. I think I also expect old blokes to take a bit more time and so then there is less pressure for me to start within 3 seconds of getting to the urinal!
Thanks again for driving Mark,
Robin
Re: De-sensing at Rownhams Services (nr Southampton)
Andrew - what you said makes sense and also what Robin said, where old men can take longer in general so less pressure. Thinking of a WC as a neutral territory is a hard concept to get my head around, but I will give it a go!