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Just wanted to share a positve experience I had on Sunday.
We decided to go to Cambridge for the day, for no particular reason other than a day out. Anyway, I would normally not bother taking fluids if I know i'm planning going out, however, seeing as though I've recently found this website and booked in on a beginners course, I thought 'what the hell'I'll try my arm! So, I drank several cups of tea and made sure I didn't use the loo before we went.....talk about entering the lions den! When we arrived at the park and ride, to my amazement, I had the thought ' I wonder if there are toilets here as need a pee'!!! Not, 'oh my god, I need the loo' and then get all panicky. Luckily, there was a toilet so I just went for it..... and, instead of going to the cubicle (the toilets were empty) I went to the urinal!
Of course if someone had been there, I wouldn't have felt brave enough to do what I did but, just to let you know, that was the first time I used a urinal in about 15 years.
During the course of the day, I didn't worry about my fluid in take, and made several trips to the toilets. Though I didn't even consider the urinals, I pretty much didn't give it a second thought about using the cubicles. Mind you, the cubicles had no queues so, therefore, I couldn't really say whether I would have felt anxious.....probably would have.
On the way home, we stopped at a restaurant for an evening meal. I was thinking about going to the toilet but then heard some lads asking the waitress where they where so I hesitated a bit. Anyway, after a few minutes, I plucked up a bit of courage and walked in. Luckily, there were 2 cubicles....both free. While I was doing the do, I heard someone go in to the cubicle next door and noticed that he had not gone in there for a number 2.... My immediate thoughts were ' I wonder if my neighbour here is an AP?' Nevertheless, I felt positive about yet another successful trip to the loo.
Thanks to this site, your words of encouragement to each other, Stephen Soiffer's 'Shy Bladder Syndrome' and a little bit of courage I had a really enjoyable day out.
Pete L
Re: Day out in Cambridge
Posted by Mark L on 7/4/2009, 10:30 pm, in reply to "Day out in Cambridge" Message modified by board administrator 8/4/2009, 8:15 am
Hi Pete,
A great write up there, well done! Isnt it amazing how reading books or discovering a site like this can completely change the way you feel about AP? You are now trying things you wouldnt have before, you're not worrying about not being able to go and your enjoying day trips!
I had my first day trip recently (see my post 'My first day trip since the workshops') and it was a weird feeling that I wasnt thinking about how full my bladder was all the time! Then when nature called, all was fine.
As for the other guy peeing in the cubicle, its not until you start de-sensing and peeing in public more, that you realise just how many people prefer to use cubicles or have trouble. Like some 'normal' people cant start until the person next to them has walked away, or when they walk into a busy WC, hesitate, then head into a cubicle. Its quite reassuring!
Keep up the 'practice' though Pete, every WC you pass go into. If you dont need to pee, just stand at the urinals for 20/30 seconds or just go in to wash your hands. It all helps!
Keep us updated with any other developements and good luck on the workshop! You will have a great time!
Congratulations for facing up to the monster and calling its bluff: it worked!
It seems to me that your reading this board and Soifer's book has normalised things for you enough for a lot of the anxiety to disappear. From now on the only way is up :-) as you test the waters in small steps.
In the restaurant it seems normal to wait till the lads had gone: restaurant loos are small and a group of lads would fill it and more: so forgetting AP, it seems pointless to go in only to hang around waiting and adding to the crowd.
Thank you both for your words of further encouragement.
Like you say Andrew, testing the water in 'small steps' is the way forward. I've waited many many years for this so I'm certainly not going to rush ahead now.
