U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

This Discussion Board is for men who find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
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help

Posted by andy on 25/3/2009, 3:12 pm

Hi there
im a 44 year old male.I think Ive always had mild AP,sometimes had to use the stalls at public toilets nothing more though.Recently i moved back to the uk after living alone in France for 10 years and for a while lived at my friends house.The bathroom is very public and one night we had visitors staying over.We went out for a few beers and i was unable to use the pub toilets.When we got home i was unable to use the toilet at home .Having never had bad AP i thought i had a medical problem and after 9 hours without a pee i presented to casualty where after another two hours an attempt was made to catheter me.This for some reason resulted in a lot of bleeding and failure.Another two hours then a consultant catheterized me using a guide wire.Very painful and frightening.I spent three days in hospital and a further three weeks with an indwelling catheter.Various tests were done all was normal.After the catheter was removed i had to go for a flow test but had to leave because of being unable to do the test due to high anxiety.
Since finding this site i have realized what is wrong with me but it seems to be getting a lot worse I can no longer use public toilet even in the stalls and as i live in a shared house with shared bathroom sometimes i cant use the toilet in my own home.However if i am on my own with no risk of disturbance i have no problems at all.
This is taking over my life and i am anxious all the time.Ive talked to the doctor about it and been put on anti anxiety meds but that was all he did.
I would love to learn to self catheter as this would give me some level of control over my problem however after my experience with categorization at hospital im very afraid of this procedure.Could i learn this using a private doctor and if so how would i find one in north wales.
Sorry bout the long post
Andy

Re: help

Posted by James S on 25/3/2009, 7:08 pm, in reply to "help"

Andy, well done for posting. sharing these experiences helps us all. a few years ago i lived in fear of having to use public toilets. i also lived in a shared house and that added another level of difficulty to life. even when alone, i often found it difficult to pee.
about 2 years ago i attended my first workshop put on by the ukpt. life changed. i am not cured and this is an on-going process for most of us, but my paruresis is now under control for the most part. i can't recommend the workshops enough. they empower you in many different ways.
good luck and keep posting,
james

Re: help

Posted by Raymond on 25/3/2009, 7:50 pm, in reply to "Re: help"

Andy,

I endorse James's post. I also attended a weekend workshop and it has transformed my life. Was it a Nike logo in the 90's.............JUST DO IT! There is nothing to fear.

Good luck,

Raymond.

Re: help

Posted by Andrew on 25/3/2009, 7:59 pm, in reply to "help"

Hi Andy

No apology required mate; your post is not long; it is as long as is needed; and it IS needed.

You have had a horrible experience at the hospital; I could not believe you were kept waiting two hours and then they messed up so badly!

For self-catheterisation; go to your GP; the practice nurse should be able to show you how to use a catheter.

If the GP is unwilling to cooperate, demand what you are supposed to do without one.

When you go, take some printouts form ouri website (not this board - see link at top of page). If you email me with your address, I can send you our brochure to give to him.

Alternaively ask to be referred to a urologist; again he can arrange to show you how to self-cath.

Also attend our workshop; if you email me I will send you details

Look forward to hearing from you

Andrew

Re: help

Posted by andy on 25/3/2009, 9:34 pm, in reply to "Re: help"

thanks you guys your kind responses have left me a bit overcome with emotion.Its real nice not to feel so alone.I will keep you updated
Andy

Re: help

Posted by Pete L on 26/3/2009, 10:32 am, in reply to "Re: help"

Hi Andy

These guys really do give you words of comfort don't they?! I've just sent off my cheque to go on the beginners workshop. I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing, however, i'm also looking forward to meeting people who have so kindly put in process a way to deal with this life restricting condition.

Perhaps i'll see you there!

Take care mate

Pete L

Re: help

Posted by Geoff P on 26/3/2009, 10:45 am, in reply to "help"

Hi Andy,
I don't have a lot to add to what the other guys have said, but I just wanted to say Hi and Welcome.

I've been using this board for a couple of months now and found it a real help just to be able to 'talk' to other guys who care and understand. If you possibly can, get yourself onto a workshop. I haven't been able to get to one but by all accounts, it'll be a real help to you on many levels.

Keep posting and remember, you're not alone any more!

Cheers,

Geoff.

Re: help

Posted by Mark L on 26/3/2009, 11:40 pm, in reply to "Re: help"

Hi Andy,

Now you have found this site, all will change. Read my post about 'Stag night - catheter needed' for some more info. I used to have really bad parureses, where I couldnt go at home if a friend etc was round. You will be able to get control of your life again dont worry

Keep reading all the posts, they are all very comforting and helpful in many ways. And make sure you get to a workshop!

Good luck and keep us updated,

Mark L.

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