Toilet talk

Posted by Adam on 7/3/2009, 9:36 am

Was out last night and went to a restaurant to grab a takeaway after a couple of beers - decided to nip in for a pee - the toilet is quite small and has one urinal and one cubicle - this type of set up is great for me at the moment cause it means that I don't have to pee directly alongside other people, say if I went with friends... the only problem is if there is a queue and I get pressure from behind! Anyway, when I went in, there were two people already inside so I thought 'okay' and the urinal became free as the other guy came out of the cubicle. They didn't know each other but were having quite a loud conversation as the cubicle guy (which makes him sound like a superhero) was quite drunk and had evidently been having an argument with his wife. His wife seemed to think that he was getting into a fight and listening to him, I would probably have put money on it. Anyway, the point being I found it really hard to get started while they were there right behind me talking. I'd thought that it wouldn't matter cause I wasn't 'on show' as it were. I closed my eyes a couple of times to no great effect, then as it seemed they were both about to go, I relaxed and was able to pee. The key thing here seems to be that it wasn't them leaving but the idea that they were about to leave that helped - as if it was about to become my territory again... as it was the cubicle guy still wanted more advice and came up behind me to ask me what he should do about his wife. 'What would you do if a guy came and pinched your wife's arse?' he asked. 'You'd smack him in the face, wouldn't you?' he asked, shadow boxing for me. I decided to agree, on the principle that he seemed like the type for who a 'no' would trigger a 'Are you calling me a liar?/Are you saying my wife's ugly?' kind of conundrum... luckily someone else came in at this point so the two-strangers-face-to-face scenario was slightly diffused. I noticed (you can't help but take an interest when you have this condition) that it took quite a few seconds for the new guy to get going too... eventually I was able to extricate myself and leave the cubicle guy (after he'd shook hands with me and asked me to be his best man) asking for more advice from the new entrant. Anyway, hope this helps - if there's a moral to the story, it's to remember that toilet talk is generally an attempt to lighten the atmosphere or do some good 'ol buddy bonding... and even 'normal' men suffer a bit of a delay in this kind of situation... cheers for now.