U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

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weekend

Posted by kev on 8/2/2009, 4:13 pm

hey guys. was out friday saturday this weekend and never had much bother going to the toilets. i used the cubical all of the time i tried the urinals twice both with no success. the worst was a very big club with a small trough that fitted 3 people and 2 cubicals i tried the trough with 2 other guys at it and had no luck but i know i never fail in a closed cubical so it doesnt bother me too much.

what i came on to mention though was how it surprised me in clubs and pubs that most people will use the cubicals before the urinals. ive realised this before but not so much on this scale. one guy was in front of me going down the stairs to the toilets when at the bottom he glanced up he stairs (which i would sometimes do) he realised i was behind him so he used a cubical when he went in. just goes to show there are many people in the same boat.

cheers kev.

Re: weekend

Posted by Andrew on 8/2/2009, 9:40 pm, in reply to "weekend"

Hi Kev

Guys generally, especially younger guys, do not like the small cramped facilities. As you have found out, they will sometimes opt for the cubicle.

BTW trying a trough when you are comfortable in a cubile, is really jumping in the deep end. Try to get used to large quiet places with screens between the urinals first, then gradually move step by step to smaller, busier places without screens; just change one variable at a time. Start with a good separation between you and someone else, and step by step move closer. Takes a long time to do all this, but a slow controlled process works better.

Andrew

Re: weekend

Posted by Geoff P on 9/2/2009, 9:55 am, in reply to "weekend"

Hi Kev,
You seem very relaxed about your paruresis. It's good not to be too bothered as that takes off a lot of the preassure. Personally, I can't wait to get this sorted and it's becoming a bit of a preoccupation, which I don't think is too good for me. I'm really dissapointed if a day goes by when I can't get in some practice at a public loo!
And good on you for trying at that urinal with two other guys. But Andrew's right - you'll get further, quicker by taking things in stages. It amazed me how soon I was able to pee in a vacant urinal. I know that if I had gone straight for trying next to another guy I'd still be at the same stage and feeling very frustrated.
Keep at it and let us know how it's going. It's always encouraging to hear of another guy's success.
Cheers,
Geoff.

Re: weekend

Posted by Mark on 9/2/2009, 6:11 pm, in reply to "Re: weekend"

Hi Kev,

Its come up alot where people notice others opting for a cubicle rather than a urinal. It suprises me in clubs, as there is plently of backgorund noise (music). I suppose when its busy people may need more privacy, I wouldnt know as iv never been in a club toilet!

Thanks for your post!

Mark

Re: weekend

Posted by kev on 9/2/2009, 9:26 pm, in reply to "Re: weekend"

yeh i know it was a big step to use a trough but i was kinda starnded for once it was a small toilet and a packed club both cubicals were taken and there was a lot of people behind me. i wasnt desperate so knew i could just give it a go and go back later to use a cubical which i did.

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