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UK paruresis trust

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Rock concerts?

Posted by Rich on 29/1/2009, 7:20 pm

I've always wanted to go to a rock concert, but have seen it as impossible with paruresis (just the thought of thousands of people all using the same toilets terrifies me). My friends have invited me to a few gigs, they don't know about my problem.

We'd probably be going to the MEN arena, Manchester Acadamy or O2 arena. Does anyone know what the toilets are like there? Are they busy/have a good amount of cubicles? I wouldn't mind waiting for a cubicle, but its just some places have 100% urinals, which would be hell.

Re: Rock concerts?

Posted by John M on 30/1/2009, 4:21 pm, in reply to "Rock concerts?"

Hi Rich,

I went to the MEN arena recently and I went for a pee during the performance (rather than interval). I didn't need to use a cubicle, as the toilets were deserted but I'm pretty sure that there were some. I guess there are several sets of toilets, so I can't vouch for all of them but the ones I used were fine.

I have never seen a 100% urinal toilet, which, I agree, is paruresis hell!

Good luck to you.
John

Re: Rock concerts?

Posted by Rich on 30/1/2009, 10:14 pm, in reply to "Re: Rock concerts?"

Thanks for that, I was in a large bar once (probably about 100-150 people), and the only toilets there consisted of a small room with three urinals and two sinks. That was definately one of my worst paruresis experiences, I haven't been to a bar after that (ended up I had to keep leaving and going in a bush, classy I know!).

Its ironic isn't it, can't go urinate somewhere thats designed for it, but give me a bush and im fine.

Re: Rock concerts?

Posted by Andrew on 31/1/2009, 10:28 am, in reply to "Re: Rock concerts?"

Hi Rich

It looks like classic anxiety catastrophising: by bad luck you chanced on the only toilet without cubicles (or were they so busy that you panicked and did not realise the cubicles were around a corner?).

Since then your negative thoughts have grown this one occurrence into one that could occur everywhere you go (concert wise). Now think of what evidence there could be that there really are cubicles available. e.g. do the stadium owners and architects really want people crapping in odd corners in their brand new stadia? I think not!

cheers

Andrew

Re: Rock concerts?

Posted by Geoff P on 1/2/2009, 10:36 am, in reply to "Re: Rock concerts?"

Hi Rich,
I must agree with Andrew. I've been to loads of concerts in all sorts of venues and am sure you've got nothing to fear. It is a good idea to go whilst the band are playing rather than in the interval when everyone else is wanting to use the loos.
Don't let fear limit your life. Get out there and have fun!
Geoff.

Re: Rock concerts?

Posted by Matt on 1/2/2009, 7:15 pm, in reply to "Re: Rock concerts?"

Yeah, the MEN and the Academy have cubicles and the new O2 place almost certainly will have. Even small club venues almost always have cubicles (never seen one that hasn't.)

Find out a bit about the venue beforehand, get there early and go in to 'fake' if you need to. You could go while the support act are playing, perhaps?

Anyway, when your friends next go to a gig, you should definately go. You'll also be less anxious about going to any future concerts.

Re: Rock concerts?

Posted by Kev on 20/3/2009, 12:32 am, in reply to "Re: Rock concerts?"

Hi,

I can't use urinals but generally manage in a locked cubicle. I went to the MEN to see the killers last week with my gf. The MEN is arranged with a main corridr running right around the outside of the arena. Toilets/shops/bars etc are off this corridor. The toilets near the main entrance had about 15 cubicles and perhaps 30 urinals, we got there be fore the support act so it wasn't too busy and I didn't need to queue for a cubicle. Between the support act and main band (Killers) we went again, this time to some toilets further around the corridor (anticlockwise in this case). These had about 30 urinals but only 3 cubicles and there was a big queue for the cubicles that I just had to endure.

I went again during the band and it was quiter but still plenty of people around.

My gf knows about my problem so while she does get a bit fed up of waiting for me (shes particularly quick - just my luck!) its not normally too much of a problem if I take ages. I do find going out with mates much more difficult as I always need a cubicle and of course their in and out in no time with me effectively being split off from the group for a bit.

Bottom line is that there are cubicles at the MEN (and I'm sure other venues) but you'll have to cue at some point.

This was my first concert - it was brilliant and definately work the hassle of trying to go to the loo.

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