U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

This Discussion Board is for men who find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
The Board is maintained and moderated by the U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.For further information, visit our website, or contact us at

[ RETURN TO MESSAGE INDEX PAGE ] [ POST A REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE ]

Would like to chat

Posted by Jason on 29/11/2008, 3:45 pm

Hi - I've struggled with this for ages - would really appreciate a chat with someone - I'm 41yrs and live in London - Jason

Re: Would like to chat

Posted by Andrew on 30/11/2008, 3:14 pm, in reply to "Would like to chat"

Hi jason

I am away this weekend running a workshop; I will get in touch when I get back to arrange a chat. Feel free to email me at the email address at the top of the page, and to tell me your story.

cheers

Andrew
Chairman

Re: Would like to chat

Posted by Kevin on 17/12/2008, 7:06 pm, in reply to "Re: Would like to chat"

Hi Jason, I'm 41 also, have just found this site and having suffered from this since I was in my early teens, are relieved and also saddenned that so many other people have to deal with this. I've spent my life developing coping mechanisms to deal with living a 'normal' life but it does get harder to make excuses for not wanting to go and do social outings if you can't plan for a 'safe' WC. Are keen to do a workshop, but havn't the courage to let my wife of 11 years! know about my condition. Thats how good I've been at hiding this.
I think I may have lost a few good male friendships over the years by my reluctance to go on 'boys' trips snowboarding, road trips and nights out with the lads, all for obvious reasons. I have a twin brother who spent 10 years in the army and doen't appear to have this problem but I can't even talk to him about it.
Anyway, all the best to you, having read through some of these postings gives me encouragement to keep up with my own personal desensing and the next time I see someone else qeueing for a cubicle, I'll know I'm not alone.

Re: Would like to chat

Posted by Mark on 18/12/2008, 11:00 am, in reply to "Re: Would like to chat"

Hi Kevin, well done for finding this place!

Have a good read through all the topics if you havent already, there is some useful input on de-sensing in a topic I started called "de-sensing adivce please".

As for the workshop, you can tell your wife by showing her this forum, or on the main site there some useful tips on how to tell someone:

http://www.ukpt.org.uk/first_visit/first_visit_How_to_Tell_Someone.htm

I told my partner of after 3 years of being together, and she didnt quite inderstand what it was and how serious it was to me. She now understands when I explained to her how it affects people etc. It was a LOAD off my mind after I told her!

If you really dont want to, then you can always say you're going on a sales motivation course for work, meeting old school friends for some sort of re-union etc. Teling a white lie is acceptable in this situation!

Deffinatly get on a worksop, it will be the best thing will do. There is one in London in Jan and one in Manchester in Feb I think, just email Andrew.

Mark

Re: Would like to chat

Posted by Derek on 27/12/2008, 3:04 pm, in reply to "Re: Would like to chat"

Hello Everyone
I really need help and imput on this one had the problem being unable to use urinals for many years and its causing me to have low self esteem. I am 57 and have tried so many methods to overcome the problem inculding Hypno and pychotherapy has anyone any suggestions. A guy I know claims CBT helpfull but i am very doubtfull that its much use at all such a lot of learning to do before One can even use it.
Please email me impact031@hotmail.com or text to 07800715274
Thanks
Derek

Re: Would like to chat

Posted by Andrew on 27/12/2008, 4:16 pm, in reply to "Re: Would like to chat"

Hi Derek

From your posting, I get the feeling you have not read the UKPT website (i.e. not this forum). There you will find all our information and advice for you to benefit from; go to www.ukpt.org.uk.

Oh and CBT is the recommended therapy for this condition: it is the basis of the approach we use on our workshops, and you can read on this forum the positive feedback from participants.

cheers

Andrew

Re: Would like to chat

Posted by Dec on 1/7/2011, 11:34 am, in reply to "Re: Would like to chat"

Another message not a lot of responce before, anyone with ideas how to get over probs using urinals sometimes only one cubical to trough which about 8 guys can stand alongside each other. How do we deal with it? Anyone tried Hypnotherapy if so would like to know outcome or any other forms of therapy.
Please contact me on:-

07800715274 (02 mobile number)

Re: Would like to chat

Posted by Salford on 7/10/2014, 6:39 pm, in reply to "Re: Would like to chat"

Hi Dec, I'd like to speak to you if possible - I've emailed you but it bounces back. Please could you send a message on here?

Re: Would like to chat

Posted by Andrew on 19/12/2008, 2:38 pm, in reply to "Re: Would like to chat"

Hi Kevin

Like you there are many who do not dare tell anyone, even their partner. But the feedback we get is that, when they do confide, it is seen as no big deal by the listener; however the teller feels a weight is off their shoulders, because they can stop pretending, and can agree arrangements that take their needs into account.

So do as Mark suggests: look on our website for the "How to tell someone and survive". It works, cos lots of people have used it.

One guy went further and said that having paruresis was a bit like being very afraid of spiders, but having to pick one up six times a day, every day, without showing any qualms about it.

You say you are keen to do a workshop; go ahead now and do it: you owe it to yourself, your wife and your friends to become who you really are, the sociable Kevin.

cheers

Andrew

« Back to index

1440

[ U.K. PARURESIS TRUST ]

UNITED KINGDOM PARURESIS TRUST WEB SITE