U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

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Peeing when drunk...

Posted by James on 17/3/2008, 7:46 pm

First time post here and a bit of a strange one. I would say that I have a mild case of paruresis, I find that I can always pee in a cubicle and sometimes in urinals if there is someone around but further away.

However I find that it is far easier to pee when I've drunk a certain amount of alcohol, I'm not sure what it is that does it but I find that I am almost always able to pee in front of other people and even in busy urinals. Does anyone else experience anything similar??

Re: Peeing when drunk...

Posted by Andrew on 17/3/2008, 8:57 pm, in reply to "Peeing when drunk..."

Hi James

If you search on the web for the effects of alcohol, you will find details of the specific effects it has. I cannot remember them, but one effect it has is to lower inhibitions; think of what you feel like when drunk: care free, in your own little world etc, then move back a bit to being less drunk and you will see what I mean.

I remember years ago, when urinals were a non-no, being so drunk that I peed freely alongside a total stranger at a trough, and laughed with him while doing it. But I spent half the night comatose on the cobbles in the rain as a result :-)

Unfortunately some guys, when out with mates, have had to rely on drinking enough to get to this state in order to cope, with devastating effects on relationships etc.

So yes it works for most (but not all) but please, please, beware; it is a slippery slope.

Andrew

Re: Peeing when drunk...

Posted by mikew on 17/3/2008, 10:15 pm, in reply to "Re: Peeing when drunk..."

I've heard several people say that drinking helps, but don't think it has ever really helped me - times when I've been drinking have been some of the worst for me, so anytime I drank a pint my anxiety levels would automatically increase as I knew that it meant that it only meant I would need to go sooner, so any relaxing effect of the alcohol was counter balanced. Now I've got the problem much more in perspective it probably would help, just because inhibitions are lower - but haven't specifically noticed it.

Re: Peeing when drunk...

Posted by AndyM on 18/3/2008, 12:05 am, in reply to "Peeing when drunk..."

Once there was a man who discovered that his clothes were on fire, so he jumped into the sea. He put the fire out. And then he drowned. The cure is worse than the disease.

Re: Peeing when drunk...

Posted by Colin on 18/4/2008, 8:02 pm, in reply to "Re: Peeing when drunk..."

A great analagy AndyM
It seems to me there are several problems with the "get drunk" solution:
1. If you drink beer, you increase the need to pee, and if you are not drunk enough, this will be uncomfortable.
2. If it does help, then next time you find yourself at a urinal, your BOO monster whispers in your ear "you wont manage it cos you're not drunk - you can only do it when you're drunk" And so you lack confidence and may misfire.
3. You are masking the problem rather than dealing with it.
4. You cannot function properly in business or socially if you are permanently drunk
5. Being drunk all the time is bad for you (I am not a doctor, but I do know this!)

Personally I don't recommend it in the early stages of recovery, as in my experience it blocks confidence rather than building it up. Later on however a couple of beers may give you a great amount of "flow" into the trough or bowl, or WC, which makes you proud of your "loud and proud" peeing!
Colin

Re: Peeing when drunk...

Posted by NigelR on 23/3/2008, 11:22 am, in reply to "Peeing when drunk..."

hi

I find pub toilets a challenge. yes after a drink I'm a bit less inhibited so it should be easier but so are other people and they are much happier to encroach on your space. often standing next to you maybe talking to you. maye there's a queue waiting behind as well?. In other public toilets (eg railways station) people are more reserved and it can be dfficult to get the level of challenge I'm working on.

its a good challenge for me to work on and its one of the issues i have to deal with from a practical point of view - if I can crack it I've achieved one of my two main aims in this process. the other is being able to urinate with people i know present. I did manage that the other day after telling the person who was there. (He didn't think it was strange or funny - just a practical problem cos he was bursting to go as well and there was only one working urinal) I didn't think I could do that but i did. Doing the CBT methods you can surprise yourself sometimes.

nigel R (attended London workshops in Sept and Oct 2007)

Re: Peeing when drunk...

Posted by SC on 12/4/2008, 6:54 pm, in reply to "Re: Peeing when drunk..."

It works for me only in the sense that my bladder is full of beer which I need to get rid of! Sometimes the need to "go" can take priority over even remembering that I have a problem, which I guess should always be the case.

Re: Peeing when drunk...

Posted by Dave on 26/8/2008, 7:49 pm, in reply to "Peeing when drunk..."

I dont think James is saying he gets drunk to be able to pee- he just finds abit easier when he is.
James, literally everything you wrote is the same for me.

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