U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

This Discussion Board is for men who find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
The Board is maintained and moderated by the U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.For further information, visit our website, or contact us at

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(no subject)

Posted by Christina on 6/10/2007, 1:59 pm

Just checking out the websitesas, after years of it being a problem, would be so nice to share others experiences

Re: (no subject)

Posted by tony on 6/10/2007, 6:09 pm, in reply to "(no subject)"

Like christina I have just found this site after years of not really grasping just how much contol this had on my life! A good friend asked me to be his best man and instead of being flattered I declined,(and felt guilty)simply because i was worried about going to the loo!

Thanks for reply

Posted by christina on 7/10/2007, 10:45 am, in reply to "Re: (no subject)"

you have to be very imaginative with this problem, to think up excuses of why you can't do things, go places. And i liked the bit that someone wrote about putting out their radar when thry walk to the loo in a pub or restaurant. I try and position myself so that I can see the loo entrance and can then guage when it should be empty and take my oportunity. Then , the total frustration of still not being able to go.

Re: Thanks for reply

Posted by Rob on 7/10/2007, 4:06 pm, in reply to "Thanks for reply"

Just found this site today after about 6 years with the problem. i can't believe it, everythin that i've read on here is exactly like me. i thought i was the only one n sort of ashamed. didn't kno it was a medical problem but i am so glad i checked it out on the net. goin clubbin is an absolute nightmare, u don't realise how much control it really has over u.

Now you have found us

Posted by Colin on 7/10/2007, 5:27 pm, in reply to "(no subject)"

Now that you have found the UKPT website, please read the postings on the discussion board so you will see that you are not alone, that there are many others out there who suffer as you do. Then take some time to devour the information on the main website. There is lots of help there for you.
And do continue to post on this discussion board. There are lots of people who will support you. Just having people who will listen to your experiences is a great help.
Now you have found the UKPT you are on the way to recovery from this condition.
Colin

Re: Now you have found us

Posted by Rob on 7/10/2007, 5:41 pm, in reply to "Now you have found us"

Cheers, is this something i should consult my GP about?

Re: Now you have found us

Posted by Margaret on 9/10/2007, 8:50 am, in reply to "Re: Now you have found us"

Hi Christina, Keep posting and reading on the website. You will read about so many experiences and realise that they all seem familiar to you. We've all done the looking out for when other people are going to the toilet so we can avoid going at the same time and nearly leaping for joy when we find toilets that are fully enclosed. We have all dreaded going to a function in case it proved difficult and then found it has worked out OK. I posted on the board earlier this year how I had worried like mad about our Golden Wedding party, only to manage perfectly all right when the time came, and I think that set me up for a much easier year . It can and does get better with help from people who understand and with support from the rest of us.

Re: Now you have found us

Posted by Frank on 12/10/2007, 3:54 pm, in reply to "Re: Now you have found us"

Rob wrote: “Cheers, is this something i should consult my GP about?”
Yes: to hear your doctor reply that there are many more types of obstructions that people have in their minds; that you are certainly not alone or strange or so. This could make you feel a lot better.
Yes: to inform your doctor that this condition exists and can be much more than an annoying kind of shyness; quite a considerable percentage of doctors and urologists are not yet aware of this particular problem nor of the huge consequences.
Yes: to maybe find a suitable CBT therapist.
However: be prepared to face the probability that nothing will help even remotely as much as the well-directed mutual help that a workshop provides. Period.

Re: Now you have found us

Posted by Jane on 9/11/2008, 3:27 pm, in reply to "Re: Now you have found us"

Hi Christina

I found this website a few weeks ago after having the problem for 40 years.
I went on a beginner's workshop recently, and it has changed my whole attitude - instead of regarding this as a restrictive and unavoidable part of my life, I have realised that there are techniques to be learned to overcome it. I still have a long way to go to be "cured" but I made progress in just the one weekend, and am doing a follow up workshop soon.

Like most people there, I was nervous at the start of the weekend, but you are not put under any pressure to do anything you are not comfortable with and everyone was so friendly and normal. Just being able to talk openly with people who share the problem was such a relief, and the workshop leaders were great.

So if you can get to a workshop, my advice is go for it! Good luck.
Jane

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