Posted by Penny Hampshire on 31/7/2013, 10:16 am

I have read many posts (across many message boards on the web) reporting that many times the instigation of 'shy-bladder' can be attributed to one or more bad experiences at school. It might be a puberty thing for many but from what I have read, many school incidents contributed to a growing shyness to wee. Perhaps (as parents) we should give some attention to our children and make sure they aren't building a problem for the future. In my case, I know I started out being afraid to use the school toilets because bullying was rife and to try to use the toilet was an invitation to be horribly bullied since they used to hang around in the toilets waiting for 'victims' to pick on. My solution was not to use the toilets. Occasionally I would squat behind the bins or cycle shed but fear of being caught but desperate for relief was a awful dilemma. This developed as I grew up into avoiding any toilet (other than my own of course) and being too scared to squat successfully. My way of coping came through the use of incontinence pads when out and about (as a last resort) but also gave me some confidence to hold until home. Not a perfect solution but at least I started to enjoy a relatively normal social life while coping in my own way. Coming back to helping our children avoid going down the paruresis route, I would hope we all agree that knowing our children's fears, needs and hopes is paramount in guiding them towards normal toilet habits. Other than the school situation, I wonder what other 'traps' are waiting to lead the next generation down the path of paruresis!

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