Posted by John on 16/10/2012, 8:18 pm
Message modified by board administrator 16/10/2012, 9:48 pm

Hi everyone, I just returned from the Beginner’s workshop in Manchester from 5-7 October as well. I am 36, married with 3 small boys and I travelled over from Dublin. I've suffered mostly in silence with this condition since I was 12. I had a bad experience in school and I've been "locked up" ever since. I have always felt that this is something I have never been able to beat. Nothing seems to work. I have tried getting private treatment but to no avail. I read Stephen Sofier’s book 2 or 3 years ago and it’s been at the back of my mind ever since to attend a workshop. I didn’t really know what the experience would be like, I had an image of 50 people in a conference room and for it to be a bit impersonal. Industrial CBT perhaps. I couldn't have been more wrong. So why now? I suppose it’s for my three boys, I don't want to hand this on. I don't want to say to them in years to come that I knew where to get help and that I did nothing about it. I was expecting a lot more "root cause analysis" and soul searching. Not So! One thing I learned at the workshop is that the problem is the behaviours you adapt, the coping strategies and the thinking you have developed. The initial cause may be far less relevant to your recovery. No one cares whether you have a pee or not. What this workshop gives you are the tools to break all the bad habits and all the negative thinking. Loud and proud – those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. My progress: Before the workshop, I could usually go in cubicles and on a rare occasion in a urinal with no one else in the toilet or likely to come in. I haven’t been able to pee at a urinal with someone there before me since I was 12. By the end of this weekend, I was urinating with others from the class and strangers using a urinal with no dividers. My "personal best" was urinating in a busy shopping centre at urinal 3 in a row of 5 (no dividers) with someone from the class at either side in urinal 1 and 5. I felt of foot taller leaving a public toilet, probably for the first time in my life. We all seem to have our own sensitivity triggers which can be desensitised, mine seem to be noise and proximity. I now have some bearings and I know what to work on. The other people: I was scared shitless coming down the stairs on the Friday evening. I really didn't know what to expect. I met the most amazing people. Everyone was a warm and friendly and instantly engaging. An hour later everyone was completely at ease. It was surreal, yet so normal, a gang of blokes working on a shared problem. It could have been anything, a group of 11, healthy, intelligent, normal people. As Andrew said: if you lot walked into the pub no one would look twice, except perhaps the women. I remember thinking on the Friday evening, 'Jesus, this is like a big bunch of mates'. Andrew and Peter were great. I can't say enough for what these guys do. I don't know why I didn't do this years ago. I could not recommend it more highly. Oh, fogot to say, looking forward to the follow up workshop in November.

479