Posted by Andrew on 1/5/2011, 12:18 pm, in reply to "paruresis"

Hi Nick Yes some degree of privacy, aka personal space, is desirable. Hence why a lot of guys like to have one empty urinal between them and anyone else. As for pervert? If the guy has the option of standing well away from you, or at least leaving a gap, but instead comes to stand next to you, that is unsettling. You can just zip up and go into a cubicle. But if the premises are busy and there is no option but to stand next to you, or next to someone else, that is acceptable. He is probably just as unhappy about it as you are! We workshop leaders have several personal experiences of such a situation: e.g. in my case a guy was forced ot stand next to me, but the urinal on the other side of him came free before he started peeing, so he suddenly skipped sideways in order to get a gap between him and me. And friends tell me I don look odd! So I hope you can feel more relaxed about this anxiety; as I said, you can always walk away. Cheers Andrew

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